kidz bop cask of amontillado
i’m sorry but that caption had me wheezing for a good couple of minutes holy shit
if Candice has a picture phone why did she never just take a photo of what phineas and ferb were doing and text it to her mom
if she did this doofenshmirtz would just be like you see perry the platypus i sold my old computer at the pawn shop but i forgot to delete all those embarrassing photos from the christmas party, which is why i’ve invented the pixel-replacinator! and then as candace is going to text her mom the photo the phone gets hit with the beam and she looks down and she’s just texted her mom a photo of doofenshmirtz in a sexy elf costume or smth. candace can never fucking win the universe bends to facilitate her psychological torment
Just learned about garden path sentences.
They’re basically a literary prank– the sentence starts out in such a way that you think you know where it’s going, but the way it ends completely changes the meaning while still being a complete and logical sentence. Usually it deals with double meanings, or with words that can be multiple parts of speech, like nouns and verbs or nouns and adjectives.
So we get gems like
- The old man the boat. (The old people are manning the boat)
- The complex houses married and single soldiers and their families. (The apartment complex is home to both married and single soldiers, plus their families)
- The prime number few. (People who are excellent are few in number.)
- The cotton clothing is usually made of grows in Mississipi. (The cotton that clothing is made of)
- The man who hunts ducks out on weekends. (As in he ducks out of his responsibilities)
- We painted the wall with cracks. (The cracked wall is the one that was pained.)
Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?
It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!
It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.
Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this
This is a scheduled post for two days before the anniversary of the moon landing. Please get your moon themed items and foods sorted now in anticipation.


































